The Boys

The Boys

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

New picture!

I found this picture of Jude on Baidu!


There's actually more to the picture, but felt like this crop preserved others' privacy.

I just want to hug him to pieces!

I can't help it.

Look at that face!

We have returned our DS230 form.

We have submitted our applications for our visas.

I  even finished getting our gifts for the officials and nannies!
(no small task! The angst!)

We sent a photo album that our agency is going to get delivered.

Hoping that will help prepare him a little bit.

It's getting closer!




Saturday, January 26, 2013

No accident

All along this adoption journey, it seems as though I've stumbled across the right people, books, and blogs at the right time to expand my view, or help me over a hurdle. I have to admit to some trepidation at having stumbled across this blog post recently. There are no accidents.

This High Calling: Uncensored: It has been so long since I wrote here, or anywhere else...too long. It's just, Satan's whispers of doubt and deceit have been ever so lou...

It resonates. I almost can't hear the resonation due to the knocking of my knees. It feels like a seismic shift has taken place....like things aren't located where they used to be. I haven't explored this shift fully yet. I haven't even been able to look it full on yet. Deep breath.
Having worked in health care for over 20 years, I'm one of the first people to talk about how broken The System is...the welfare system, our healthcare system, the education system, the insurance system....the tale wags the dog. I'm one of the people that can tell you what's wrong with the system, but doesn't have a lot of useful insight into how to fix the mess that it is without abandoning the people dependent on the system.  This post...this post contains the answer, I think. You can't legislate this,  or mandate it. It's going to take people like this, willing to get dirty.  People who are not judging, but actually willin to get dirty in order to SHOW people a different way.  Not preach to them, not tell them, not judge them, not DO IT FOR THEM, but take their hand and walk with them...(when I say "them" I also include me...I'm not above a lot of the ills of the system).
We live within a system designed to keep us all dependent...dependent on someone else to educate our kids, babysit our kids, raise our kids...dependent on someone to medicate us so that we don't have to be responsible for our own health...so used to easy that we don't even realize that it's the easy that's killing us ...fooled into allowing someone to sedate us with mindless entertainment so we don't notice that we aren't living up to our potential, that our lives are slipping by while we rush from one distraction to the next without making any real connections or impact. 
We all know that random person who doesn't participate in this craziness, that person we secretly think of as eccentric. The one who has gone "off the grid"- to homeschool their children, or be a stay-at-home-mom when all their friends are buying a bigger house with the second income, or eating organic/vegetarian, or whatever there alternative medicine choice is in order to be healthier, instead of taking a pill. I don't think they are eccentric. I think they know the system is broken and the first step to fixing it is to assume responsibility for what we can, while we can.
I haven't finished processing the posts I've linked below. I just know it's important. I know it's broader than even this most important topic the author writes about. I know it scares me. Go ahead and read it. Be changed.


PS
And I just read this earlier post  http://thishighcalling.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-01-15T18:40:00-08:00&max-results=7 by the same author.....chest is burning.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Look what we got!

This was the earliest picture of Jude that we were given

Mr. Serious Face
But we have his finding ad now


I'm torn

So happy to have such a young picture of him

but, oh my heart

I don't know how to express what this makes me feel

What has my baby been through?

He was this little when he was left without a  momma or daddy

I put Owen in his place and try to imagine how he would feel

I put myself in this child's place and try to imagine how I'd feel

(those of you that know me well know I was afraid of the dark

and never slept by myself until my sister left for college

when I was in the FIFTH grade!

Thanks, Babe!)

I don't know his story

I just know that he wasn't with his momma

And that breaks my heart...










Tuesday, January 1, 2013

I hope...

....that this isn't foreshadowing of the future

because I'm feeling a little overwhelmed today

I blame this guy

everytime I run up against Owen's pack-rat instinct

I point at Jim and say something like

"He gets this from YOU..."


I mean, in theory, I like sentiment

but I'm claustrophobic when it comes to keeping all that stuff around!

I'm trying to pack up the house, so it doesn't look cluttered

since we are trying to sell it

and Owen's toys are the last real culprit

Maybe they bother me so much because I'm particularly conscience

of materialism these days

But since Owen was old enough (2 years old) to realize I was

consigning his old toys twice a year

he gets all teary eyed and says

"Not the sale, Momma!"

And I cave

But I'm not joking

this kid hates to part with anything

As an example

I noticed he had a hole in the seat of his underwear

I asked Jim to throw them out when Owen changed after his bath

Jim put the ratty underwear in the bathroom trashcan

When Owen got out of the shower

he saw the underwear in the trash

and GOT THEM OUT

Jim says he doesn't know what Owen did with the ratty underwear

But I say it's a conspiracy.....