Not too much...

There's not been a whole lot new going on, other than doctors appointments here.

Jude got a birthday card from his Nana with $$$ in it! That ranked up pretty high. He was quick to point out that his wallet almost won't close now, he is so rich!

Aunt Sonya brought a birthday present, as well, an Iron Man fist that shoots discs! He and Owen now cape up and shoot each other with their respective Super Hero weapons....something wrong about that....

This is a little school/sensory work....numbers and letters with shaving cream. They didn't get much done, but had a good time. :)

I have no idea what is up with the tongue. 

A little time at church's play land.

And more foos ball! Owen beat me 7-5 by the way, straight up. He's pretty good. Jude, on the other hand, wants me to stand back and give him three tries to score, without defending my goal. Ha! Not happening!

On the medical front, we have now had an MRI, which ruled out spina bifida and some other question marks that had popped up based on X-rays that China had sent us as part of Jude's referral. Good news! We still have some things to sort out, but right now it seems to be a game of ruling things out, not ruling things in. We had an ENT/hearing test today, as well as our wheelchair fitting. It will be 60-90 days to get the chair. It's a sporty little job that Jude will be able to wheel around himself. He got to choose the color. I was worried he'd pick Toxic Green (I am not making that color up) but he chose Candy Red. We are going to have a follow-up with UofL audiology for hearing.

I asked Owen today how he was doing with having a brother. He said, "good." I probed, "so it's working out for you?" And he said, "yeah. I like him." :) They still fight, but I stand amazed at how well they get along, when they get along. :)

I think next up, other than an OT appointment next week, are the cavities....going to take a few appointments to knock those out! Summer will be over before we know it!

Probably wont post again until after the holiday, so Happy 4th y'all!

How would YOU like it handled?

OK, folks. I have a question for you, because I don't pretend to have a handle on this yet. Jude's special need is multiple congenital joint malformations. There it is, for anyone to see, when you see him. It's not a subtle thing. We go out; to parks, pools, stores, church...often. Jude is a very outgoing kid. No sitting on the sidelines for him!
So, what happens is, occasionally we get a completely rude adult, staring in an obnoxious fashion.  Not someone who got caught staring, and is embarassed and moves on, but someone who persists in staring, with no overture to engage us in conversation. Doesn't happen often, and I have no problem making eye-contact and pointedly letting them know that is out of line. HOWEVER, way more often, we have reactions and encounters with the kiddos. And I want to know how you, as a parent, or grandparent, would want this handled if it was YOUR kid who said, "What's wrong with him?! He scares me! Get him away!" while they are pointing a finger right at Jude? Or some variation on that theme.
At this time, I feel our best course of action is to engage and educate. Make friends and influence people, as it were. Even if I feel like ripping the kid's face off and breaking his/her nasty pointing finger. (Yes. I said it. I won't DO it, of course. But I fantasize.) But here is the conundrum. If I were watching Owen, say, from the distance of across a swimming pool...far enough away that I couldn't hear what was being said...I could see it concerning me if I saw an adult talking to him, that I didn't know. Now granted, if I saw that adult with a child in tow, I would probably assume something happened, and scurry over to see what's what. But still, there would be that moment of "what the heck?! Who is this bozo talking to my kid?!" So, if YOUR child said or did something inappropriate at best, or intentionally mean at worst, how would you want it handled?
*Footnote - Owen has pointed at people, in public, who have a missing limb, when he was younger. I think this is normal behavior when a child runs in to something they haven't been exposed to before. I'm not expecting perfection from kiddos. I am totally OK with curiousity, I get that Jude's locomotion just looks different and your brain has to kind of process that before you can file it away and move on. I think Jude is OK with curiousity, although he would rather just be treated like the totally normal little boy he is. In Owen's case, what we did at the time, as the person he pointed at had already walked past us, out of our reach, was stop Owen, put his pointing finger down, explain that pointing at people, for any reason, is rude. Then we explained about possible reasons for the missing limb, and asked if he had any other questions. I followed up at home with some pictures on the internet of people who had missing limbs, most of which were paralympic competitors, to be honest, to give him a cool image in his head. In preparing for the adoption of Jude, we showed him pictures of Jude's legs, and asked things like, "How do you think it would feel if your legs did that...?" and "How do you think YOU would feel if someone pointed at Jude?" etc. I have no idea if it helped, but I know Owen never even blinked when we met Jude, and has never treated him gingerly, or acted like he was an invalid. He did, however, still have issue with the beggars we saw who were missing limbs. He didn't point, so that was good, but he needed to talk about it, and work out in his mind what was going on. Despite our best efforts, Owen decided they were robots???? We are still working on that one.  So, I'm not asking kids to pretend they don't notice Jude's limbs. I'm asking how to address mean/inappropriate behavior, not open curiousity. If this post isn't PC enough, cut me some slack, I'm still a rookie at this. I genuinely want to know how other people would want their child addressed (or not) when their behavior is extreme.

Birthday

Okay, so Jude's legal birthday is June 28th. Not necessarily the day he was born, but it is what is on his paperwork. However, I have to work on that day, and he already saw his birthday present, so Jim and I decided we couldn't withstand listening to Jude sing himself the Happy Birthday song in Chinese a dozen times a day then pantomime what his birthday present was for another whole week, so we had cake last night instead! The pic below is a requested photo-op, Jude wanted one of the dogs to come in the bathroom for a pic...go figure.

And the cake. Jude picked it out, over all the Disney decorated ones, even!

And the look...having to wait for dinner. It was pork loin, by the way. Fat Meat. :) not ribs, mind you, but it is a favorite of his. I wouldn't have known that, either, Sarah Swift, but for your delicious dinner you brought us! Thanks again!

And the ride....

And the recklessness....

Before church this morning. They got haircuts yesterday, and they both looked so handsome!

Wrestling with Daddy...

Jim is getting the stuffing squeezed out of him...

And we took the dogs for a much needed walk.

View in my rear-view after the walk :)

Lot to catch up on

Jude had his first US dental visit. I have no idea if he had been to a dentist in China. Just one of the many unknowns. What I do know is Li'l Dude came to us with great teeth brushing skills, but he didn't know what dental floss was.

He did AWESOME at the dentist, and the dentist said his teeth were beautiful! 

However, he still had NINE cavities. All what the dentist called "kissing cavities", where his back teeth touched each other. Basically a direct result of not flossing. (Note to self...instill better flossing habitsin the  WHOLE family!)

We will get those fixed over several appointments through the summer. Now, (drum roll please) there are a lot of people (probably you included) who have helped us with this adoption, whether financially, or praying for us, or feeding us, or the hundreds of other things people have done to help. I want to take the time to send a humongous thank you to one of those families who has gone WAY out of their way for us time and again, but especially in the last 24 hours. 

Meet the C's! (It's all the anonymity I'm giving you guys!)

Trish and I roomed together in college. Dean kind of took me on as an appendage when he and Trish got marries. :) 

Jude and I went up to Cincinnati the night before his appointment at the International Adoption Clinic, thinking it might make the 4 hour appointment on Wednesday seem a little shorter if we were already in town. That didn't work out so hot, bc just as we rolled into town a thunderstorm struck, big lightening and thunder and torrential rain, in my little car, and the combination of new place and storm upset Jude very much. He told me last night it was the storm, but I think the strange place contributed too. But all became right with the world when Dean and Trish broke out the BBQ ribs for supper. (Trish worked a double on Wednesday so she could be off Tuesday to make L'il Dude some Fat Meat. :) ) above is Jude eating breakfast the next morning with lovely Anna.

Jude, the boy who was terrified of dogs, but now bellies down next to them to share their perspective while they gaze out the front door, was introduced to cats at the local Feeders Supply last week. He was very interested, but again tentative. He finally extended a finger through the cage to touch one, but pulled his finger back pronto! A week later, with no additional contact with a cat in between, and Mr. Man here squashes down that fear, and goes for it! It is fascinating to watch, in action. It is not that he isn't afraid. He just WANTS these life experiences. He wants me to document that these things happened. He is brave. ( and he will tell you so, too!)

This is Bella. She's a cat, so she didn't jump for joy when Stranger here sidled up to her. But sidle he did, and he touched her tail. At which point she turned to look at him with great disdain, as only a cat can. Did he shrink back? 

Nah. Anna handed him a toy, and he went in for another attempt.

And the payoff! She batted the toy with him, and he smiled. Dean drove us to our appointment in my car, and WAITED for us to finish, so he could get us back to their house. When we found out about this other appointment , he caught a cab home, then stayed on standbye to talk me out of there, as I hadn't paid attention coming in bc I was riding shotgun and not driving. :) as I said, he and Trish have been so supportive!

Our appt at IAC was basically an extensive Well-child exam, the purpose of which was just to not miss any health issues that are particular to internationally adopted children, that a pediatrician Ina. Community setting might not catch bc they just don't see that many internationally adopted children per practice. This wasn't to address Jude's particular special need, necessarily. Above is Mrs. Amy, the interpreter IAC provided. She was great!

This is the Occupational therapist, Lauren, assessing Jude's hand-strength and some cognitive stuff that I don't claim to understand. We also met with a social worker, who evaluated behavior and mental health stuff. IA kiddos come from hard places, having experienced a lot of loss in their lives already. This can be compounded by poor living conditions with not enough food or other resources, and these kiddos need help, and so  do the parents, in working through that grief and loss and the survival behaviors that accompany them. In our case, Jude is rolling along awesomely. Doesn't mean we won't  have stuff to get through later, as he becomes more comfortable with us, and learns to trust us, but for now, he says he is doing good, via the interpreter.

As we wrapped up our appointment with the doctor, she went down the list of all the appointments I need to make or have already made:

Regular Pedeiatricians visit, to get missing a vaccinations and have TB skin test read.

ENT/audiologist for hearing test.

Ped ophthalmologist for vision assessment

I made him an appointment with our allergist, as he came to us with a runny nose, and then we plunked him down right in the middle of the Ohio River Valley Crud.

Pulmonologist

Occupational therapy to maximize his current skills and see what's what with thumb strength.

Physical therapist for a wheelchair evaluation and to preserve his joints.....whew!

So after going over this list, the doctor said that while she knew we were going to pursue these treatments at home, if we could make only ONE more appointment at Cincinnati, she would suggest we make one with their Limb Deficiency Clinic. The clinic could give us a good idea of what road to head down with his limbs, after we get overall health assessments out of the way. So she stepped out to see how long it would be before we could get an appointment with the LD clinic. She came back, almost giddy, bc their was a cancellation at 230pm! Did we want it? Seemed totally like a God-wink to me so we went for it.

Keep in mind that we had now been away from home 20 hrs and at the clinic for 5 hours. Jude had been saying, "jus' a Li'l bit, HOME" since he woke up. I had just told him we would be leaving shortly when this opening came up. :( the interpreter tried to explain, and with his usual aplomb, he said, "eat!" And rolled with the latest disappointment in his life with a characteristic shrug. We grabbed some lunch, then headed over to the LD clinic to check in. While we were waiting, the doctor from our first appointment came in, with two of her office staff. Her assistant Robin and I have had numerous conversations, and she had seen video of Jude before we brought him home, and so was a fan! Dr. Staat had gone and gotten her office staff and walked two buildings away to find us at this appointment so that her staff could meet Jude. :) during the physical with her, she was very professional and gave no hint of anything, but after the physical, she just sparkled over Jude. :) she thinks he will do great!

So on to the LD clinic. This is Dr. L. She did the first evaluation, then Dr. M. came in. Both of them didn't try to hide how fascinated they were by how Jude's joints are formed and what he can do with them. :) Again, we were met with great optimism. AND the phrase, "if you could do ONE more appointment here..." The next thing on the agenda for Jude is an MRI of his spine, and a visit with an orthopedist. Add that to the list....

This is Jude, killing time Neil he can go HOME

And this is Jude in the car.....heading HOME.

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day! The boys got to spend some major time with Jim this Father's Day weekend, as this was my three-in-row stretch. We Google Translated (hereafter reerred to as GT) the whole work thing and Jude seemed to understand, but after two nights of a different routine, that third day he got weepy and wanted to call his nanny, Jim said. He was very emphatic this morning in going over in his pantomime that tonight I would be home. When I lay down for a nap after church (we go straight to church when I get off in the morning, so I don't go to sleep until after lunch, for a quick nap), he and Owen lay down with me (which hasn't happened EVER) for about 10 minutes, then Owen abandoned ship. Jude snuggled up, getting more comfortable, and lay with me for another ten minutes, before he, too, bailed. :) it was nice while it lasted, though.

Yesterday, Owen turned on the sprinklers, and the boys played on the swings and went down the slide, in the sprinklers. They were giddy! Today, we are laying low, cooking some hotdogs and brats, and getting our act together for this next week. 

I worked up a chore chart for those few chores I have started the boys on, and started an allowance. If they complete the chore chart, they get the allowance. They were keeping their loot in a zip log baggy, so I found some inexpensive, but remarkably well-made wallets that have a zipper compartment for change. They were a hit, and they carried their tithe to church in them today. (Women's is a blue Transformers wallet, but getting a gift and owning something of his own is pretty old hat to him, so I don't have photos of it.)

Jude has his first dental appointment tomorrow. I GT'd that to him today, and all expression wiped completely off his face instantly, it was almost comical. Either hes been to a dentist, or a fear of them is actually encoded into the human brain. I reassured him that they would just be cleaning and looking (at least tomorrow) so not to worry. I have read a bunch of stories of kids needing root canals, a mouth full of cavities, etc...so it could be bad. But, honestly, I don't expect it. He has excellent dental  habits, when it comes to brushing, albeit flossing was a completely foreign concept. I think worst case scenario will be a cavity between a couple of back teeth, tops.

I'll end this with a few pics of yesterday and today, with the promise to update after our dentist appointment.